HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL HUSBAND!

1. Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE.


2. When you go home say ‘Assalamualaikum. ’ (Greetings) It kicks the shaitaan out of your home!


3. Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to take care of this vessel that’s fragile. Remember that there is goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.


4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT IN PUBLIC as it’s a type of slandering.


5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED


6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.


7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said if you are angry, sit down, if you’re sitting, then lie down. Follow the sunnah!


8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!


9. Don’t be rigid. It will break you. Prophet Mohammed – sallallahu alaihi wa sallam (SAW means “May the blessings and the peace of Allah be upon him” (Muhammad).) said ‘I am the best amongst you and I am the best to my wife’. Being rigid and harsh will not bring you close to Allah and neither does it make you more of a man.


10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER


11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a marriage. Al zawai said ‘When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will leave them to argue amongst themselves’.


12. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said to call your wives with the best name, any name she loves to hear. Prophet Mohammed sallallahu alaihi wa sallam called Aisha ‘ya Aish’ as an endearment.


13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.


14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said the tongue will throw people in the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!


15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt) will put barakat in your marriage.


16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.


17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dad etc.


18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.


19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realize that she is wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.


20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said gifts increases love.


21. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!


22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think good of people. Think good of your spouse.


23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of her small mistakes. It was a practice of Ali (RA). It’s like putting a hole in your memory. Don’t save it in your memory!


24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or when she is on her monthly period.


25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.


26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking after your children, she is much more than you, she is the leader at home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your success.


27. Don’t put your friends above your wife.


28. Help your wife at home. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam used to help his wives at home and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.


29. Help her respect your parents, you can’t force her to love them, but she can be helped to gradually love them.
30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.


31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love and protect it.


32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It’s not your business. The past is for Allah (swt).


33. Don’t try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. It’s also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)


34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and wife are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded. Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best job.


35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam taught us this. It’s a blessing. The food doesn’t just go to her stomach, but straight to her heart. It increases the love and mercy between you.


36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She is like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human devils and shaitaan.


37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. IT’S A CHARITY.
38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. Or if there is small thing she didn’t like and you keep repeating them anyway, it will create a wall between you. Don’t ignore them as it can become big.


39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw) ‘if you were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.’ It confirms prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.


40. Respect her thinking. It’s strength for you. Show you like her thoughts and suggestions.


41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find success within as her success is your success.


42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated tenderly. Sometime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and appreciate that feeling.


43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes them appear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).


44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks great, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.


45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.


46. Let her know you are travelling. Don’t tell her out of the blue as it’s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming back also.


47. Don’t leave the house as soon as trouble brews.


48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy and secrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a serious hole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick and choose.


49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrah together. It increases and strengthens the love when you help each other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a dars together etc.


50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your heart and engraved in your conscious.


51. Allah( swt) said ‘live with your wives in kindness.’ Treat them with kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat her with goodness and fairness.


52. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam showed that at the time of intimacy. Don’t jump on your wife like an animal!


53. When you have a dispute with your wife don’t tell everyone. It’s like leaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share your problems and disputes with.


54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of your wife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that you love her.


55. Don’t think you are always right. No matter how good you are you have shortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect in character was prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam Get rid of this disease.


56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.


57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said that your wife is a trust in your hand.


58. Remember you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.


59. Accept her as she is. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said that women are created from the rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will break her (divorce). Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said that you may dislike one habit in her but you will like another manner in her so accept her as she is.


60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors your intention and your heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.

Mencari Sakinah, Jangan Bersedih, Allah Sentiasa Bersama Kita

Apabila kita duduk bersendirian dan memikirkan nasib diri kita, kita kadang2 merasakan diri kita ini sangatlah hina dan kurang mendapat rahmat dari Ilahi. Tapi kita sering lupa yang rahmat Allah itu sudah melangit tinggi sejak lahirnya kita ke bumi.

Sebuah video oleh Professor Madya Dr. Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin (drMAZA) dan disunting dengan baik oleh salafus-sholih ini cukup memberikan erti sakinah dan erti kehidupan ini. Ya Allah bersyukurkah kita ini? Video ini cukup untuk memberikan ketenangan dan kesedaran kepada kita. Subhanallah.

Apabila kita ditimpa musibah, kita kata habislah aku kali ni, tapi usia kita telah berjalan, kita masih hidup dan makan serta menikmati kurniaan tuhan. Ketika kita kata, Ya Allah tolong la aku, aku susah, hari ini kita lupa dengan nikmat dan rahmat yang Allah kurniakan kita.

Andainya hidup ini begitu sukar dan cukup berliku, ingatlah bahawa Rasulullah melalui perjalanan yang lebih sukar dan berliku berbanding kita umatnya yang mewarisi Islam. Kita yang mewarisi sahaja Islam ini pun sering merungut nak solat 5 waktu, nak puasa, nak buat kebaikan tapi kita tak pernah nak fikirkan macam mana susahnya Baginda nak wariskan Islam itu kepada kita. Tapi hakikatnya Islam itu bukan sekadar untuk diwarisi tapi untuk dihayati oleh kita.

Dr Muhammad Afifi al-Akiti : Texts, Videos, Press links and references

Dr Muhammad Afifi al-Akiti BA (Queen's), MA (Oxon), MSt (Oxon), DPhil (Oxon), MSIEPM - also known as Shaykh Afifi^[1][2] - is KFAS Fellow in Islamic Studies at the Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies,^[3] and Islamic Centre Lecturer in Islamic Studies at the Faculty of Theology, University of Oxford,^[4] and is a Fellow of Worcester College, Oxford. He is the first ever Malay to be appointed to such a position in this world famous University.^[5]

 External links

• Texts by Shaykh Muhammad Afifi al-Akiti
• Dr Afifi al-Akiti Faculty of Theology Staff Profile
• Dr Afifi al-Akiti Academia.edu Page
• OCIS Fellows' Profiles

Video links

• Dr. Afifi al-Akiti @ Sudut Pandang Astro Awani
• The Hidden Treasure of Imam al-Ghazali
• Scholars and activists offer some wise words to the YMAG

Press links

• Scholar Urges Ulama To Be Equipped With Other Knowledge
• Ulama Perlu Lengkapi Diri Dengan Pengetahun Lain, Kata Cendekiawan Oxford
• Penseur malaisien: Oulémas musulmans doivent apprendre les nouvelles sciences
• Muslim perlu hidupkan semula semangat penyelidikan (Berita Harian)
• Watch This Face: Dr Afifi al-Akiti (Emel, issue no. 62, Nov 2009)
• New Statesman - Suicide attacks are un-Islamic
• Syed Jaafar, Muhammad Afifi dilantik ahli majlis MAAIAMP (Utusan Malaysia)

References

1. ^ Introduction to Defending the Transgressed by Censuring the Reckless against the Killing of Civilians
2. ^ Defending the Transgressed (2005), p. 7.
3. ^ "KFAS Fellow Appointed", OCIS News, no. 49 (Winter 2008), p. 2.
4. ^ "Examinations and Boards: Appointment (Humanities Division)", Oxford University Gazette, vol. 139, no. 4876 (19 March 2009), p. 833.
5. ^ Safhras Khan, 'Pensyarah: Muslim perlu berfikiran global dan seimbang', Berita Harian Singapura (22 April 2009).
6. ^ DPhil Abstract of M. Afifi al-Akiti, The Madnun of al-Ghazali: A Critical Edition of the Unpublished Major Madnun with Discussion of His Restricted, Philosophical Corpus
7. ^ Dissertations on al-Ghazali
8. ^ OCIS Fellows' Profiles, Dr Afifi al-Akiti
9. ^ The Muslim News, no. 238 (27 February 2009)
10. ^ Utusan Malaysia (3 July 2010)
11. ^ ^{a b} Defending the Transgressed (Birmingham: Aqsa Press, 2005), 7.
12. ^ Defending the Transgressed
13. ^ Defending the Transgressed (2005)
14. ^ News Statesman, 5 November 2009
15. ^ Defending the Transgressed (2005), p. 17.
16. ^ Terror links of the Tottenham Ayatollah. July 24, 2005
17. ^ Defending the Transgressed (Birmingham: Aqsa Press, 2005), 19.
18. ^ News Statesman, 5 November 2009
19. ^ Aftab Malik (ed.), The State We Are In: Identity, Terror and the Law of Jihad (Bristol: Amal Press, 2006).
20. ^ Chris Miller (ed.), War on Terror: The Oxford Amnesty Lectures
21. ^ A.H. Wentzel, Verbot von Angriffen
22. ^ M. Hanel, Fatwa gegen Angriffe auf Zivilisten - orthodoxer sunnitischer Standpunkt
23. ^ Profesor Rhamanicus, Contra la Matanza de Civiles: Defensa de las Víctimas Agredidas Por la Censura de los Temerarios
24. ^ Fetva kundër veprimeve kamikaze
25. ^ Slutordet i fatwan: Försvar av brottsoffren genom att fördöma de hänsynslösa mot dödandet av civila
26. ^ Seekers Digest
27. ^ History Channel
28. ^ Nik Nazmi
29. ^ Mind, Body, Soul
30. ^ Abdal Hakim Murad
31. ^ Eteraz
32. ^ Imran Idris
33. ^ Salim Journal
34. ^ Mere Islam
35. ^ Muslim Corner
36. ^ Omer Subhani
37. ^ Yahya Birt
38. ^ A Second Hand Conjecture
39. ^ Wardah Books
40. ^ UI Forum
41. ^ Eteraz Comments
42. ^ Indigo Jo Blogs Comments
43. ^ Zatoichi - The Rainstorm
44. ^ Perth Muslim Youth Forum
45. ^ New Statesman

Source : Wikipedia

Anak Melayu Pertama Menjadi Pensyarah di Universiti Oxford (lepasan dari sistem Pondok)

Siapa kata belajar pondok tak ke mana? Takde masa depan? Yang takde masa depan tu sebab belajar nak sekerat sekerat dah bajet alim dan tanak usaha lebih lagi. Kalau betul2 belajar agama dan jadi ahli dalam bidang agama, takkan susah la, Allah akan pelihara.

Buktinya, anak melayu pertama menjadi menjadi pensyarah di Universiti Oxford ialah bekas lepasan pondok dan terus menambahkan lagi ilmu pengetahuan hingga ke negara orang. Lihatlah video di bawah

Nama beliau Dr Muhammad Afifi al-Akiti

MA (Oxon), MSt (Oxon), DPhil (Oxon), MSIEPM – juga dikenali sebagai Sheikh Afifi – is KFAS Ialah salah seorang felo pensyarah Pengajian Islam di Pusat Pengajian Islam Oxford, dan Pensyarah Pusat Islam dalam bidang pengajian Islam di Fakulti Teologi, Universiti Oxford, United Kingdom, dan juga merupakan felo pensyarah di Worcester College, Oxford. Beliau merupakan bangsa Melayu pertama seumpamanya yang berjaya menjadi salah seorang tenaga pensyarah di universiti yang paling berprestij di dunia.

Dr al-Akiti telah berjaya mendapat ijazah kedoktoran falsafah (DPhil) dalam jurusan Falsafah Arab Pertengahan (Medieval) dari Universiti Oxford sebagai Cendekiawan Clarendon pada tahun 2008. Tesisnya telah menerangkan dan secara sistematiknya dianggap sebagai suatu bentuk penulisan falsafah yang diletakkan dibawah kumpulan pertama yang digelar sebagai karpus Madnun, dipersembahkan kepada teologis Islam termasyur, Imam Al-Ghazali (d. 505/1111) – penemuannya adalah berdasarkan kepada kaji selidik yang mendalam terhadap kira-kira 50 manuskrip Arab zaman pertengahan (medieval). Selain itu, terdapat juga tiga siri kajiannya yang diterbitkan yang dapat menyajikan edisi kritis dari hasil kerja yang paling maju dan teknis dari korpus, manual pada metafizik dan falsafah alam yang disebut Mayor Madnun.

Dr al-Akiti, yang berasal dari Malaysia, telah dilatih sebagai seorang ahli teologi dan ahli falsafah dalam kedua-dua bidang keutamaan khususnya berkaitan dengan Dunia Islam dan tradisi barat. Beliau telah dididik oleh pelbagai Ulama, Dunia Islam yang mahsyur sejak beliau memulakan pengajian dari sekolah pondok lagi. Beliau telah menerima [[Ijazah Sarjana Muda Kelas Pertama dalam bidang Falsafah Skolastik dan Sejarah Sains dari Universiti Queen Belfast, dimana beliau berpeluang mendapat pelbagai anugerah biasiswa untuk meneruskan pengajiannya di peringkat sarjana dan doktor falsafah di Oxford. Bidang kepakaran beliau adalah dalam bidang teologi Islam, falsafah dan sains.

Pada tahun 2009, bersama dengan Professor Muhammad Abdel Haleem dan IIIT, Dr al-Akiti beliau telah disenarai pendek sebagai salah seorang yang tersenarai dalam Anugerah Muslim UK Tahunan, atas kecemerlangannya menyumbang ilmu pendidikan Islam.

Pada tahun 2010, Dr al-Akiti telah dilantik sebagai Ahli Dewan Penasihat Agama Islam Negeri Perak, Malaysia, dimana pengisytiharaan ini telah disempurnakan oleh Raja Muda Perak, Raja Dr Nazrin Shah.

Akhir kalam, kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung manakan dapat sagunya. Genggam bara api biar menjadi abu. Kalau belajar tu, belajarlah betul2, tak kiralah bidang apa pun skali.

Jangan jadikan ilmu agama penyebab tak dapat kerja dan x berjaya. Tapi salahkan diri sendiri yang tidak betul2 dalam menuntut ilmu agama. Sedarlah wahai golongan yang belajar ilmu agama, rezeki itu Allah dah tentukan untuk kita. Tinggal untuk kita usaha. Samalah juga dengan golongan yang belajar ilmu lain juga.

sumber : wikipedia